The Hidden Life
by mtranc3
Summary: Sirius, Lucius, and the secret between.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** The Hidden Life  
**Author:** mtranc3  
**Rating:** R  
**Spoilers:** All six books  
**Summary:** Sirius, Lucius, and the secret between.  
**Pairings:** Lucius Malfoy/Sirius Black, James Potter/Sirius Black, James Potter/Lily Evans, Severus Snape/Sirius Black  
**Warnings:** Slash, Unbeta'd  
**Author's notes:** One of my favourite pairings in HP fandom is Lucius/Sirius, one that is unfortunately not very popular, so at the lack of related fic, I've decided to write Sirius/Lucius myself, to satiate my cravings. It's kind of experimental, because I've only written (and mostly read) Harry/Draco, and I don't really know how exactly it will proceed, but I thought I'd give this partially formed plot-bunny a chance.  
**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, no profit is being made.

**Chapter 1:** A surprise during the sorting ceremony.

_**1st September 1970**_

"Black, Sirius"

A pale-faced boy, with tangled black hair left the queue and sat on the stool, putting the Sorting Hat on his head.

"A Slytherin that one, for sure..." mumbled one of the older students sitting behind the first-years, and James neglected his anxiety for a moment to peer at the boy who had been called up.

_Why...? Oh, Black, of course..._

James recalled his father telling him that the Blacks were notorious for being sorted into the Slytherin House for many generations, though not so much as the Malfoy family. He started feeling anxious for his own sorting again. His parents hoped he'd be in Gryffindor, although they mentioned that Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff would be alright as well. He heard that Ravenclaws were supposedly very smart, and Hufflepuffs made for great friends, so he didn't really mind either way. But what if something went wrong and he ended up in _Slytherin_? He looked at the Black boy again; his sorting was taking a long time. The hat had screamed 'Hufflepuff' almost the very moment 'Emily Andrews' had put it on. James could see the hat wiggling on the boy's head, and his hands balled up in fists at the base of the stool, and wondered what could be taking so long...

----

"_I can see your thirst to prove all the qualities that Gryffindor is proud to have, but your disposition might be better suited elsewhere..."_ the hat whispered in Sirius' ear.

"Not Slytherin! Anywhere but Slytherin!" Sirius pleaded.

"_That is the problem, you don't completely fit in there either. You have equally inside you the qualities that characterise all four houses: bravery, cunningness, loyalty and cleverness. Although, I must say your attitude definitely belies a Slytherin..."_

"You didn't hear me, did you? I said I won't go to Slytherin, even if you put me there, I won't... I just --"

"_My answer is definite, you don't have a choice once the decision has been made"_ the hat replied, sounding somewhat amused.

"I'm not a Slytherin, I'm not a Slytherin, I'm not a Slytherin, I'm not a Slytherin..."

"_Fine then, not in Slytherin. I only hope you won't regret it."_

"GRYFFINDOR"

Cheers erupted from the Gryffindor table, and Sirius, relieved beyond words, forgot to ask what the hat had meant.

----

While the boy shakily made his way to the Gryffindor bench, a haughty-looking student on the Slytherin table raised his eyebrow questioningly to a pretty, blonde girl sitting a few seats away from him. Her friends seemed to be teasing her as well. She scoffed at him and ignored the jeers around her. The first-year was her cousin, and if she knew his family well, they wouldn't be at all pleased with this turn of events.

_TBC_


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** The Hidden Life**  
Author:** mtranc3**  
Rating:** R**  
Spoilers:** All six books  
**Summary:** Sirius, Lucius, and the secret between.  
**Pairings:** Lucius Malfoy/Sirius Black, James Potter/Sirius Black, James Potter/Lily Evans, Severus Snape/Sirius Black  
**Warnings:** Slash, Unbeta'd  
**Author's notes:** One of my favourite pairings in HP fandom is Lucius/Sirius, one that is unfortunately not very popular, so at the lack of related fic I've decided to write Sirius/Lucius myself, to satiate my cravings. It's kind of experimental, because I've only written (and mostly read) Harry/Draco, and I don't really know how exactly it will proceed, but I thought I'd give this partially formed plot-bunny a chance.  
**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, no profit is being made.

**Chapter 2:** Another hole in the Black Family Tree.

_**29th March 1972**_

_Dear James, _

_Thanks for your letter, the eggs were brilliant! How did you make them change colours like that? Reg was really jealous, but he'll never find them where I've hid them. Tell your mum thanks for the invitation, it was really nice of her, but there's no way they'd let me come over. You know how my parents are like... Peter and Remus are coming though, right? I wish I could find a way to sneak out, but my father has warded up the house as if it's a fortress, and --_

A loud scream coming from downstairs, startled Sirius and made him spill ink all over the letter he was writing to James. His mother was yelling about something in the drawing room. Sirius took down the stairs swiftly, curious to find out what was going on.

"That little two-faced, blood-traitor! How dare she defile the bloodline of my Fathers, bringing in this filth! And to think of all the kindness we've showed her all those times she stayed over. Oh, my poor brother! How will he bear the shame... I'll show her, out of the way Regulus..."

"BOOM"

Sirius nearly fell off the stairs at the sound that had blasted through the house. He approached the drawing room with apprehension; his mother was standing in the middle of the room, heaving and panting, her hair, usually tied up in a neat bun, were in disarray, and her eyes had a mad gleam.

_Well, madder than usual..._ Sirius thought grimly.

A small cloud of smoke puffing its way up to the ceiling caught his attention. It was coming from the tapestry where the Black Family Tree was etched on. Peering closer he saw a hole where his cousin Andromeda's name was written.

His mother seemed to come out of her trance then, and noticed him;

"Be careful with whom you associate Sirius, because _you_ might be next. Regulus has told me all about the scum you have befriended at Hogwarts, and about your aptitude for mischievous behaviour. I'll have none of that in this house, do you hear me?"

Sirius' eyes blazed with defiance, but he knew better than to talk back when she was in one of her states. If he did, he'd never hear the end if it, and he had to finish writing his letter to James.

She shook her head at him in disapproval and muttered: "Whatever is happening to the Noble House of Black...?" before exiting the room in a frenzy of billowing robes.

When his mother had gone, Sirius went to examine tapestry closely; as he'd guessed, his mother has blasted off Andromeda's name, which was next to Bella's and Cissy's. He touched the edges with his fingertips, the cloth was still hot.

A shuffling sound made him turn around, his brother Regulus emerged from the back of a couch.

"She eloped with Muggle Ted Tonks, that's why mum is angry. Aunt Druella was in the fireplace a while ago."

Sirius resisting glowering at his brother's self-satisfied look for having information before Sirius did, because he was curious to find out more. Andromeda was his favourite cousin; he admired her snubbing of the family's pure-blood obsession, and she was the only one who didn't behave so uptight and proper all the time – her and uncle Alphard.

"She run away with a _Muggle_?"

"Well, he's a Muggle-born, but that doesn't make him any better... But I suppose you don't mind, I've seen the likes of your friends in Hogwarts."

"Think that now you're in school, you're going to spy on me, did you? So proud you've been sorted into Slytherin that you've taken up all of their nasty habits? But then again you were always a coward and a snitch..."

He made a move towards Regulus, who quickly ducked behind the couch.

"See? That's exactly what I'm talking about."

"If you do anything, I'll tell mum!" Regulus peeped from his hide-out.

"Oh, go ahead you big baby, I've just about had it with all of you!"

The news of Andromeda's actions filled him with hope. Maybe one day he'd be able to break free as well.

_TBC_


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **The Hidden Life**  
Author:** mtranc3**  
Rating:** R**  
Spoilers:** All six books**  
Summary:** Sirius, Lucius, and the secret between.**  
Pairings:** Lucius Malfoy/Sirius Black, James Potter/Sirius Black, James Potter/Lily Evans, Severus Snape/Sirius Black**  
Warnings:** Slash, Unbeta'd**  
Author's notes:** One of my favourite pairings in HP fandom is Lucius/Sirius, one that is unfortunately not very popular, so at the lack of related fic I've decided to write Sirius/Lucius myself, to satiate my cravings. It's kind of experimental, because I've only written (and mostly read) Harry/Draco, and I don't really know how exactly it will proceed, but I thought I'd give this partially formed plot-bunny a chance. The conversation between Lucius, Sirius and Bellatrix is influenced by an RPG I played with **zalil z**. This chapter is dedicated to her, with all my thanks for her wonderful ideas and help.**  
Disclaimer:** Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, no profit is being made.

**Chapter 3:** An abomination

_**18th August 1974**_

It was a warm, sunny afternoon and Sirius was idly strolling down the gardens of Malfoy Manor. They were impeccably structured, hedges were the exact same height, and statues of the family's ancestry were placed in every other corner. If it wasn't for the orange blossom decorations the gardens would have looked somewhat creepy in Sirius' opinion. But he was trying to bid his time away from the reception area; he couldn't stand neither the exchange of fake pleasantries, nor the fact that the place was filled with the kind of Witches and Wizards he resented the most. He supposed it was natural that only the 'cream of the crop' would attend Lucius Malfoy's wedding to Narcissa Black. In Sirius' language however, that meant bigoted, so-called pure-bloods, with their noses stuck up in the air. The Malfoy family extended in France and the French guests with their ridiculous hats seemed even more snobbish than the rest, and even though Sirius had attended such events ever since he was old enough to be allowed to, he always felt out of place.

After he got bored of teasing the decorative fairies, Sirius sombrely made his way back to the reception. He sat at the end of one of the long tables, watching the crowd morosely, content that no one was bothering with him. At almost 16, Sirius was neither a boy, nor a man yet, and with his wayward reputation, the elders didn't care for him much.

His cousin Bellatrix, dressed in an elegant dark blue gown and holding a goblet in one hand, approached him gingerly and pulled him by the elbow.

"Walk with me, cousin."

Sirius rolled his eyes, but complied.

"You must be getting bored Bella, to be hanging out with me."

"On the contrary, I always found you curiously amusing... besides everybody seems to be talking politics, but a wedding reception is hardly the place for stimulating conversation."

Sirius peeked at her curiously, "Since when do you find politics stimulating?"

Bellatrix gave him a condescending smile, "Since I realized that our political figures are lacking, and may very well bring the Wizarding race to its demise, the way things are being run nowadays."

Sirius dropped her arm, his expression one of contempt, "If by 'new order of things' you mean the so-called Dark Lord's terrory --"

He was interrupted by the arrival of Lucius Malfoy who gave them a polite nod but his grey eyes were stone cold.

"My dear Bellatrix! Quarrelling with juvenile boys is most unbecoming of you... and to utter such _words _at a party" he glared at Sirius disapprovingly.

Bellatrix forced a smile "If it isn't the man of the hour. Forgive me Lucius, me and my cousin here were carried away in our little argument; we seem to be in disagreement of certain _things_" she added pointedly, and Sirius gave her a scornful look.

"But I'm being rude, you've never had the pleasure of meeting our Sirius before, have you?"

Lucius extended his hand and Sirius took it grudgingly.

"Not in person I'm afraid, although I was his senior at Hogwarts. One of the few Blacks to be sorted in Gryffindor, yes?"

Sirius nodded, and then smirked "I suppose I got lucky. You were in Slytherin, of course... nasty, the lot of them."

Bellatrix burst out laughing. "He can be quite amusing, can't he? Don't be fooled by his cheek Lucius, our Sirius here came on top of his Transfiguration class last term, and he's one of the best students of his year. But I regret to say his beliefs about purity of blood, leave something to be desired, don't you say cousin?"

"What? You mean the archaic traditions served only to reinforce the very thing that will bring the Wizarding world down? Or do you people think all this inbreeding is actually a good thing? A load of dung if you ask me" Sirius said his eyes blazing in defiance.

But Bellatrix would not rise to the bait, "My, my! You're quite talkative today Sirius... Now play nicely, I've got to find where Rodolphus is hiding, and I don't want to have to worry about you making a scene like the _other_ time" she muttered, raising an elegant eyebrow, and then walked away.

"Demented cow."

"Whatever shall we do with your manners, they're quite atrocious you know..." Sirius turned his head abruptly, he had forgotten Lucius was still there.

"My good manners are reserved for those who deserve them. Besides, you're not that much older than me, so don't assume this righteous attitude, it's ridiculous."

Lucius seemed taken aback by Sirius' directness, and a cold mask took the place of the fake smile.

"You shouldn't scorn you own kind Black, it may one day be used against you. And whatever you may think, you are one of us. No one can escape their heritage, especially one as long-standing as the Black."

Before Sirius could reply, Lucius walked away, joining his father, and his newly-made wife.

_Well I will_, Sirius thought vehemently as he watched him go. _I will_.

He stomped towards the entrance of the Manor, intending to return home. A large fireplace connected to the Floo network was on the lobby, for the convenience of the guests. Regulus though spotted him, and went running to their mother.

She caught up with him on the large marble steps that led to the imposing arched doors.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Sirius stopped and turned to face her.

"I've had enough of elitism for one day, thanks. Although I must admit I learned a great deal of things; To think that I believed people should not be put into categories according to their blood-line... I can be really thick sometimes, can't I?"

"Don't get cheeky with me boy! You will return to the reception at once, and sit quietly with your brother. I won't have you disgracing us on your cousin's wedding, do you hear me?"

Sirius' blood boiled, he could no longer contain his disgust for his family, and before he could stop them, the words escaped his mouth;

"What if I don't? Will you disown my like uncle Cygnus did with Andromeda? Well, go ahead, I've had enough of this family!"

His mother's face became ashen, and she pursed her lips. "Your father said that if you leave here, you are not to come home ever again. We'll never forgive you."

"If that's how you think your son should be treated, then fine. I never asked for this name anyway." He gave his mother a solemn look and began climbing the stairs. He half-expected her to call him back, but of course she didn't.

Walburga watched him go. Her anger suddenly transformed to bitterness.

"Curse you Sirius, for brining this shame upon my noble house. Curse you that you shall never see a happy day in your life, like you've ruined the rest of the days in mine."

_TBC_


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** The Hidden Life  
**Author:** mtranc3  
**Rating:** R  
**Spoilers:** All six books  
**Summary:** Sirius, Lucius, and the secret between.  
**Pairings:** Lucius Malfoy/Sirius Black, James Potter/Sirius Black, James Potter/Lily Evans, Severus Snape/Sirius Black  
**Warnings:** Slash, Unbeta'd  
**Author's notes:** One of my favourite pairings in HP fandom is Lucius/Sirius, one that is unfortunately not very popular, so at the lack of related fic I've decided to write Sirius/Lucius myself, to satiate my cravings. It's kind of experimental, because I've only written (and mostly read) Harry/Draco, and I don't really know how exactly it will proceed, but I thought I'd give this partially formed plot-bunny a chance. You may have noticed I changed the title of the story. The previous one was only temporary until I found one more suitable, and here it is!  
**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, no profit is being made.

**Chapter 4: **A home for a stray dog.

_**23rd August 1974**_

_There he goes again..._

"Will you stop tossing and turning like that? I'm trying to go to sleep!" James said, and then added teasingly,

"Honestly Sirius, if you wanted to have a wank, you could have gone to the bathroom..."

"Shut up, you tosser." He heard Sirius snarl, before a pillow came down, hitting him on the face.

"Now who's the pot that's calling the kettle black?" he asked laughing, and felt the bunk shake as Sirius climbed down and sat atop his knees.

"Ow! Get off, you big sack of potatoes."

Sirius was laughing now too, and tackled him to bed. James tried to wiggle out of his grasp, but with Sirius' weight on top of his legs, he couldn't really do much.

"Alright, alright, you win. 5 - 4 to you." Sirius grinned and settled on the side, propelling his head up by his elbow. The grin vanished though, after a moment.

"What? What's the matter?"

"Is it really okay that I'm staying here?" Sirius asked in a small voice.

James gave him a 'have-you-gone-round-the-twist?' expression and then smiled,

"How many times do I have to tell you? Mum and dad said that you can stay however long you wish. Seriously, sometimes I think they like you better than me."

Sirius rolled his eyes, but seemed to be cheering up.

James smacked him on the forehead.

"You pillock, is that why you couldn't sleep?"

Sirius suddenly sobered and replied solemnly, "No, actually I was trying to have one off, and you interrupted me."

James burst out laughing. They looked at eachother, grinning like fools.

"It's going to be a brilliant year."

James nodded his agreement, absently tapping Sirius' hand.

"James?"

"hm?"

"Thanks, mate."

"Don't be daft. I'd lie if I said I didn't love it that you're staying here. Not that I'm glad about what happened with your family and all..." he hastened to add.

"I know, I just... thanks." Sirius finished lamely. He looked up at his best friend; James' wild hair, mussed by the pillow, were sticking up in all directions, and without his glasses on he looked like a first-year.

Sirius pushed himself up, and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"Oi! What was that for?"

But Sirius was already climbing up to his own bed, and James knew he wouldn't answer. No answer was needed anyway.

After a few moments of silence, Sirius' hand struck out of the bed, and waved in the air.

"Toss us the pillow, will you?"

"I'm afraid it's rather comfortable, I think I'll be keeping it, thanks."

Sirius grinned to the dark celing.

"No wonder why your parents like me better, you spoilt twat."

James' indignant snort made him grin even wider.

_TBC_


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** The Hidden Life  
**Author:** mtranc3  
**Rating:** R  
**Spoilers:** All six books  
**Summary:** Sirius, Lucius, and the secret between.  
**Pairings:** Lucius Malfoy/Sirius Black, James Potter/Sirius Black, James Potter/Lily Evans, Severus Snape/Sirius Black  
**Warnings:** Slash, Unbeta'd  
**Author's notes:** One of my favourite pairings in HP fandom is Lucius/Sirius, one that is unfortunately not very popular, so at the lack of related fic I've decided to write Sirius/Lucius myself, to satiate my cravings. It's kind of experimental, because I've only written (and mostly read) Harry/Draco, and I don't really know how exactly it will proceed, but I thought I'd give this partially formed plot-bunny a chance.  
**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, no profit is being made.

**Chapter 5:** The best of enemies

_**15th October 1974**_

"Somebody's bound to notice, I mean you blew up yours almost as an afterthought..." Sirius bumped against his best friend's shoulder, sending them off course.

James laughed and pushed him back. They were walking down the dungeons corridor in a lazy manner, trying to postpone going to the detention they inevitably had to report for.

"Well you should have warned me! Mind you, Slughorn didn't seem too happy, having green muck all over his walls."

"I was bored! Besides..." He gave James a look, and James suddenly got quiet.

"Still," he said, recovering, "you should have aimed it on Snivellus, or something... you know, kill two jobberknolls with one stone."

Sirius grinned, but his smile quickly fell, and his eyes darkened.

"Talking about slimy gits..."

James looked around; Severus Snape and his usual gang of Slytherins: Wilkes, Rosier, and Avery, were coming from the opposite direction. His hand flew to his wand instictively.

Snape gave them an unpleasant smile, as the other three spread out around them, forming a semi-circle.

"Going to detention Potter? Seems like your friend's idiocy is rubbing off on you..."

The Slytherins laughed, and James felt Sirius stiffen beside him.

"Watch your mouth Snivellus."

Snape's lip curled up,

"Tell me Black, is it true that your own family kicked you out? Even _they_ couldn't stand you?"

Sirius pulled his wand out, directing it at Snape's face. Four more wands were simultaneously drown out, James aiming it at the Slytherins; Avery, Wilkes, and Rosier pointing them at Sirius. But no one attempted to throw a hex yet.

"My brother the twat, told you that?"

Snape shook his head, black, greasy hair falling over his eyes.

"Rumours go around quickly in a place like this. So, how does it feel to be homeless?" He asked maliciously.

"Sirius has a home!" James said loudly, his wand hand trembling. He looked over at his friend, but Sirius' eyes never wavered from Snape's face;

He was calculating their chances, maybe he'd be able to throw in a good hex before the others stunned him to oblivion, and he knew James would give as good as he got.

"What's going on here?"

Six heads turned to the direction where the voice had come from. Remus Lupin was walking down the corridor, his prefect's badge shining in the lamplight.

"Put your wands down, all of you. No spells are allowed in the halls."

"Think you're so high and mighty now that you're a prefect Lupin? Avery called out, but slowly retracted his wand.

Upon seeing his friend, Sirius' face softened, and he smiled.

"Hiya Remus, what are you doing here?"

"Making sure you two are reporting for detention..."

James huffed in mock indignation. "As if we'd skip it! You know us Remus..."

Remus rolled his eyes but seemed to relax a bit at that.

"Now tell me what's going on here... should I be alerting a teacher perhaps?" he added airily, but James and Sirius knew he was putting on an act for the Slytherins.

Snape gave Remus an expression full of loathing.

"I should think that you knew your friends better to realize _they_ were the ones that started it. But of course, a Gryffindor prefect will naturally support his own House."

Remus pursed his lips, but before he could answer, Snape signaled the others, and they walked on apprehensively, their wands still out.

When they had left the corridor, Sirius grinned and patted Remus on the back.

"Lucky for us you're a prefect Moony, but do be careful; I thought you were channeling Filch for a moment there..."

Remus shot him an annoyed look.

"Remus, really, they started it. Snivellus called Sirius homeless..."

"the slimy git..." Sirius added, folding his arms.

Remus' expression then eased a bit. "Still, you were 2 against 4, how did you think it would have turned out?"

"Well, you didn't let us try, did you?"

"You should be thanking me. Now off to detention, Professor Slughorn said 8 o'clock exactly."

He rushed them down the corridor. James and Sirius groaned, but took off nevertheless.

Remus watched them go, a deep frown set between his eyebrows. He knew Snape was malevolent and nasty, but he was minding his own business most of the time. Sirius and James on the other hand would never miss an opportunity to pick for a fight.

The last thing he saw before his friends melded in the shadows was James hitting Sirius' shoulder and Sirius kicking James foot in return. A smile crept on Remus' lips in spite of himself.

_TBC_


	6. Chapter 6

**Title:** The Hidden Life  
**Author:** mtranc3  
**Rating:** R  
**Spoilers:** All six books  
**Summary:** Sirius, Lucius, and the secret between.  
**Pairings:** Lucius Malfoy/Sirius Black, James Potter/Sirius Black, James Potter/Lily Evans, Severus Snape/Sirius Black  
**Warnings:** Slash, Unbeta'd  
**Author's notes:** One of my favourite pairings in HP fandom is Lucius/Sirius, one that is unfortunately not very popular, so at the lack of related fic I've decided to write Sirius/Lucius myself, to satiate my cravings. It's kind of experimental, because I've only written (and mostly read) Harry/Draco, and I don't really know how exactly it will proceed, but I thought I'd give this partially formed plot-bunny a chance.  
**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, no profit is being made. The title is borrowed from a Smiths song.

**A/N 2: **Don't worry about the James/Sirius focus in the latest chapters, this fic is most definitely Sirius/Lucius. It's not my fault that Sirius got around a lot in his time... :)

_**19th January 1975  
**_

**Chapter 6:** This charming man

James looked up from his book '_Healing Herbology: The Herbs That Help_' and surveyed the library. Sirius who was sitting opposite him, raised and eyebrow, but James ignored him, and turned back to his book. The four of them were in their usual spot in the library, catching up on their overbearing homework. But only Remus seemed do be doing any work, his head was bent down and he was writing something vigorously on a piece of parchment, with the occasional reference to one of the many books that were piled up in front of him. Sirius was gazing out of the window, tapping his fingers on his leg, and Peter was a step from falling asleep on his book.

James contemplated his best friends for a moment; a question that had been on the back of his head, surfacing again. He glanced at Peter once more; they were so different from eachother, yet they were friends. James believed that it was probably because Peter made him feel good about himself. The boy was so helpless, and the way he idolized James was well, kind of flattering.

As for Remus, it took James a longer time to warm up to him. Remus was quiet, studious, but not show-off-y about it. It was as if he wanted to disappear. But ever since they found out his 'secret' back on the first year, and his behaviour was explained, he instantly became one of them, and James came to appreciate his calm manner which made for really good conversations.

Hence, James decided that Remus brought out the 'thinker' in him, and Peter brought out the 'hero' in him, but the question that was bothering him was, what did Sirius bring out?

He gave Sirius' aristocratic profile a surreptitious look; He was letting his hair grow long again, and it had started curling towards the ends.

Sirius was a rebel at heart, but the strict manner in which his family raised him, left him with an other-worldly quality, that was hard to put a finger on. He was like a diamond in the rough, although James would never loudly admit to thinking that. In the end, he decided that Sirius probably brought out the real him, underneath all the layers that he put on around other people. When he was with Sirius he could say whatever came to his mind, without worrying about being a prat, and sometimes it was as if Sirius could even read his thoughts.

A few years from now, looking back to their time at Hogwarts, James would realize that Sirius was quite simply _cool_. The kind of cool teenage boys look up to, the kind you cannot fake, and that can put you in more trouble, than it can save you from. But right now, he was still chasing that elusive quality about Sirius.

Something had subtly shifted in their balance though, lately. James rarely consciously thought about what happened behind closed doors during detention, or when they took the invisibility cloak and raided the hallways late at night. It had started when Sirius moved in the Potter house at the end of the summer, and they had never talked about it; it was almost like a dream you forget when you wake up, but when you're seeing it, it's as vivid as reality.

James shook his head to clear it from the tangled thoughts, and noticed that Sirius was staring at him again, an unvoiced question in his eyes.

"You need a haircut" was all James said before stuffing books back to his bag. Remus raised an eyebrow, but didn't stop writing, and Peter was drooling on the table.

Sirius turned back to the window, but it had gotten dark outside, and what he was looking at, he was the only one who knew.

_TBC_


	7. Chapter 7

**Title:** The Hidden Life  
**Author:** mtranc3  
**Rating:** R  
**Spoilers:** All six books  
**Summary:** Sirius, Lucius, and the secret between.  
**Pairings:** Lucius Malfoy/Sirius Black, James Potter/Sirius Black, James Potter/Lily Evans, Severus Snape/Sirius Black  
**Warnings:** Slash, Unbeta'd  
**Author's notes:** One of my favourite pairings in HP fandom is Lucius/Sirius, one that is unfortunately not very popular, so at the lack of related fic I've decided to write Sirius/Lucius myself, to satiate my cravings. It's kind of experimental, because I've only written (and mostly read) Harry/Draco, and I don't really know how exactly it will proceed, but I thought I'd give this partially formed plot-bunny a chance.  
**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, no copyright infringement is intended and no profit is being made. The title is from a song originally by Bananarama.

**Chapter 7: **Cruel Summer

_**20th June 1975**_

_"I will if you go out with me. Go on... go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again." (1)_

The memory of hearing James utter those words turned Sirius' insides to ice. He was currently marching down the lawn of the Quidditch pitch, trying to put as much distance as he could between himself and other students. He wanted to be left alone for a while, he needed to think.

Of course, he had played it cool and laughed along with the others, but he couldn't deny the relief he had felt when Evans said she'd rather go out with the Squid than James.

"_Bad luck, Prongs" (2) _ was all he said, not trusting himself not to gloat with glee. And afterwards he had taken it out on Snape with that strong Petrificus. Not that he had felt sorry for the git.

Sirius gave out a bitter sort of laugh, and sat down in one of the highest seats of the Quidditch stands.

Maybe that's why James was acting odd lately; he had always been a bit of a show-off, in and and out of the Quidditch pitch, but during the last few games he had taken to performing more dangerous and flashy moves, especially near the Gryffindor stands, even when they had been playing against Hufflepuff... and then walking around with that Snitch all the time, showing off his reflexes, being louder around the girls... Sirius wasn't stupid.

And most tale-telling of all, was that what they, he and James, had - whatever it was called - had stopped, as abruptly as it had started. James never made a move towards him anymore, or hint at it, or anything like that, and seemed to ignore all the meaningful looks Sirius threw at his direction. James knew what they meant, and the fact that he pretended otherwise, bothered Sirius more than anything else.

And Sirius, was too proud to bring it up, when James clearly preferred to act like it never happened. Instead he made himself look bored and indifferent, and gotten a bit of a reputation for being haughty, and aloof. At least James always teased him about the girls that apparently were eyeing him all the time, and then despair when he didn't notice.

But Gods, did he miss it, their time together. The feel of that thick, messy hair through his fingers, eyes tightly shut in abandoned pleasure... of a body over him and around him, needing as much as he did.

Sirius was wanking himself raw at these memories and the fact that their 'impromptu' escapades had stopped, didn't lessen the amount of time he spent thinking about it, having flashes of tearing out a Gryffindor tie, in the middle of bloody class.

He sighed, and run a hand through his hair. He couldn't lose his best mate over this, he _wouldn't_. James, who had said he admired Sirius for running away from his family, who called him a 'brother'. Jamie who covered up for him when a prank went wrong during the first year, and served detention with him, and it had been like that ever since.

No, he'd always be beside him, good old Padfoot would, and if he knew how James' skin tasted, he'd have to swallow the lump in his throat and smile, because it would only get more difficult from now on.

Two more Owls to go, and then the long summer would start, and he'd have to learn to live with his heart being broken, seeing but not touching, remembering but not having.

_TBC_

_1: Taken from 'Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix', by J.K. Rowling, page 570  
2: Taken from 'Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix', by J.K. Rowling, page 570_


	8. Chapter 8

**Title:** The Hidden Life  
**Author:** mtranc3  
**Rating:** R  
**Spoilers:** All six books  
**Summary:** Sirius, Lucius, and the secret between.  
**Pairings:** Lucius Malfoy/Sirius Black, James Potter/Sirius Black, James Potter/Lily Evans, Severus Snape/Sirius Black  
**Warnings:** Slash, Unbeta'd  
**Author's notes:** One of my favourite pairings in HP fandom is Lucius/Sirius, one that is unfortunately not very popular, so at the lack of related fic I've decided to write Sirius/Lucius myself, to satiate my cravings. It's kind of experimental, because I've only written (and mostly read) Harry/Draco, and I don't really know how exactly it will proceed, but I thought I'd give this partially formed plot-bunny a chance.  
**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, no profit is being made.

**Chapter 8:** Push and shove

_**20th September 1975**_

"Look, He fell of _again_!"

"Honestly, it's not all that difficult!"

"Yeah, but he's so clumsy!"

Severus scrambled to get back on his feet, while the girls around him broke into giggles. He wanted to shut his ears against their laughter; he hated being in the centre of attention.

_Don't laugh at me, leave me alone! Don't laugh at me, don't laugh at me, don't laugh at me..._

"No!"

Severus woke up with a start. He blinked a few times in the darkness, trying to calm his raging heartbeat.

_That dream again..._

It was his first humiliation at Hogwarts. The Slytherins and the Gryffindors were having a flying lesson and he would keep falling off his broom, unable to maintain balance. Even the girls were doing better than him, and they were teasing him about it mercilessly. It was also the first time he had noticed Lily Evans. Some years later Severus would realize it was during that very lesson that he fell in love with her. The memory of her crystal-clear laughter, and the image of her glimmering eyes, would be haunting him forever.

----

Severus eyed the Gryffindor table surreptitiously. Remus Lupin was absent again, and Severus itched to find out what Lupin's frequent absences meant. He had once seen Madame Pomfrey lead Lupin near the edge of the school's grounds, but besides that blasted tree, there was nothing else there.

Potter was sitting next to Evans and was trying to distract her from reading a book, but she didn't seem to mind. Across them that almost-Squib Pedigrew was stuffing himself. Black was actually sitting further down, near the 7nth years. He looked bored, as usual, but Severus was so familiar with his facial expressions, having acquired an almost morbid fascination for Black, that he recognized the look as sullen, rather than bored.

He wondered if Black and Potter had had an argument, although that was unlikely; the fabulous four, as they had taken to being called, were thicker than thieves. Severus grimaced in contempt and made to turn his head, but a movement caught his eye; Black was leaving the table alone, and was heading for the doors.

----

Sirius left the Great Hall feeling vexed. Remus was already in the shack, tonight being the full moon, and there was no one to distract him from watching James clowning around Lily Evans. Peter, like always, found James' antics hilarious, and without Remus, Sirius had no one to scoff at James. And he couldn't do it himself, he had made a promise after all; he'd never intervene in James' personal affairs, James had made it so. But his best friend's behaviour was driving him barmy. Better to turn away than having to watch it.

"Why so tense Black?"

Sirius' shoulders stiffened at the voice._ Snivellus_.

"Bugger off Snivellus."

Snape walked up to Sirius and folded his arms looking pleased.

"Your friends finally realized what a pest you are, and abandoned you? You should be getting used to it by now, what with your family --"

Severus didn't finish because Sirius had grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him hard. Snape stumbled backwards, and his hand immediately flew to his wand.

"And here I thought you were beyond violence Black, always having Potter do the dirty work for you..."

Sirius clenched his fists in warning,

"Shut up, Snivellus! At least I've got friends."

Snape didn't rise to the bait. His purpose wasn't to fight with Black, despite how much he enjoyed giving Black a taste of his own medicine. No, Snape had other plans.

"I don't see any of them around... and where is Lupin? Hiding near that tree again?"

Sirius' mouth opened in surprise, "How did you -- you sneaky, little --"

Snape then pointed his wand at Black's nose. "Not this time Black... now go ahead, where does Lupin disappear off to?"

Sirius was taken aback by Snape's quick reaction, but he would never allow the git to see him alarmed.

"You think I'd tell _you_? How daft can you be?"

Severus didn't answer but waved his wand threateningly.

"Alright, Snape, lets have it then."

Severus was caught by surprise when Back pulled his own wand out with a Seeker's speed, and pointed it to his throat. They both spoke at the same time:

"Impedim --"

"Sectumsem --"

"EXPELLIARMUS!"

Both wands flew in the air, and landed gracefully on Professor McGonagall's hand. She shook her head, admonishing them for casting spells in the corridors, and gave them back their wands after landing them both in detention and taking off a myriad of points from each House.

Snape hated being scolded by Professors, he wanted to keep a low profile, and do his work as best as he could and he didn't mind whether Professors actually liked him or not, as long as he was left alone. Sirius, who was used to McGonagall's lecturing, seemed indifferent, although he was still eyeing Snape with fury.

"Happy Snivellus? I reckon this is the first time you stepped a toe out of line, feel good?

"Spare me the attempt at sarcasm Black. Besides, you always get detention, you should be used to it. Oh, but I forget, Potter won't be serving it with you. He seems to have a new favourite now, doesn't he?"

"_What_ did you say?"

"You heard me. Potter seems otherwise occupied lately, no time for his friends --"

Sirius cut him off and spoke quickly: "You want to know where Remus is going? Tap the knot in the right side of the tree trunk, and it will stop thrashing about. There's a passage there, it leads right to where Remus is."

Snape laughed low and and mirthful "And you expect me to believe you? Slytherins are not gullible idiots, thanks for the tip, but I rather not get expelled."

Sirius, who had regained his haughty look, put his hands in his pockets and smirked "It's your choice, but then you'll never find out, will you?"

Snape scowled and turned to leave. Sirius watched him go, feeling an almost malicious sort of satisfaction.

_TBC_


	9. Chapter 9

**Title:** The Hidden Life  
**Author:** mtranc3  
**Rating:** R  
**Spoilers:** All six books  
**Summary:** Sirius, Lucius, and the secret between.  
**Pairings:** Lucius Malfoy/Sirius Black, James Potter/Sirius Black, James Potter/Lily Evans, Severus Snape/Sirius Black  
**Warnings:** Slash, Unbeta'd  
**Author's notes:** One of my favourite pairings in HP fandom is Lucius/Sirius, one that is unfortunately not very popular, so at the lack of related fic I've decided to write Sirius/Lucius myself, to satiate my cravings. It's kind of experimental, because I've only written (and mostly read) Harry/Draco, and I don't really know how exactly it will proceed, but I thought I'd give this partially formed plot-bunny a chance.  
**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, no profit is being made. The title comes from a song by The Smiths.

Sam: Thank you! I'm really happy you're enjoying the story!   
A Sirius Fan: Thank you for your kind words! As for the fic being AU, I guess you mean whether Sirius will die or not in the end, right? Lets just say that besides the Lucius/Sirius slash, I don't want to deviate so much from canon, but I haven't planned the ending yet...

* * *

**  
Chapter 9:** Handsome Devil

_** 26th January 1976 **_

"Will you watch where you're going, you pillock?"

It was the third time that day James had bumped on Sirius' back. Sirius rubbed his shoulder and James gave him a sheepish grin, but he looked distracted. In fact he had been absent-minded for the better part of the day. Peter spotted them and waved, and they joined him and Remus on the table.

Sirius was about to start tucking in, when Dumbledore stood up, demanding the attention of the student body.

"I have an announcement to make; we have the pleasure of hosting today Lucius Malfoy, a former student and recently made one of the Governors of Hogwarts."

Some students clapped, but most of looked eager to get back to their lunch. Dumbledore's eyes glimmered with their usual twinkle.

"Mr. Malfoy is the youngest Governor ever to be elected, and he was kind enough to make a generous donation to the school, replacing our old Quidditch equipment, with what I am told is the latest models. 'Nimbus 1001' if I am not mistaken?" he said he an inquiring look at Lucius Malfoy who nodded curtly.

The response of the students was more enthusiastic this time, with wild cheers and cat-calls. Lucius offered a tight-lipped smile in the general direction of the students, and then settled in his seat between Dumbledore and McGonagall.

The Gryffindor table, like the rest of the school, was caught in a heated discussion, speculating the outcome of future matches. The addition of the fastest brooms in the word would no doubt change many things in the school's Quidditch Cup.

"'Nimbus1001!'" James said merrily. "The Slytherins won't stand a chance, I'll definitely break the record this time!"

Everyone laughed, and James said in a lower voice, so only Sirius could hear:

"I'll ask her out tonight, right after Care of Magical Creatures..."

It was like a rock had fallen in the pit of Sirius' stomach, and for a moment he felt his lungs being constricted.

He squizzed James' shoulder, hoping the gesture would express his agreement, support, or whatever he was supposed to be feeling.

James nodded and turned to his meal. His face was vibrant with the kind of determination that it showed when he was playing Quidditch and he was going after the Snitch. Only now, the snitch was Lily Evans, and if Sirius read the situation correctly, she was just waiting to be caught.

Remus quirked an eyebrow from the other side of the table, but Sirius reasoned that he couldn't have possibly heard with all the seething around the table.

Sirius wasn't aware that his face had turned ashen, and the fact that Remus had an exceptional hearing, due to his werewolf transformation, was simply escaping him at the moment.

----

James entered the common room in a fury of billowing robes and bounced on the sofa next to Sirius.

"She said _yes_! I didn't really thought she would, but then again, I _am_ the most handsome bloke in the school. Well maybe after our Sirius here, but the new look really doesn't flatter you mate" he gave him a cheeky grin and Sirius flipped him the 'V' sign and turned to his book.

Peter gave James the thumbs up and Remus patted him on the back. "Lily is a great girl, not to mention a brilliant witch. You do realize how lucky you are, don't you?" he said in a mock-serious voice, and broke into a smile.

The portrait hole then opened and Lily walked in. She stopped for a moment when she saw them and gave a friendly wave. Remus and Peter waved back and James' toothy smile was almost blinding in its brightness. Sirius was the last to turn and nod, and then Lily was gone, up to the girls' dormitories. James settled back on the couch sighing. Sirius put down his book and stretched.

"I'm going for a walk, I've been sitting here all evening and I need to stretch my legs."

"I'll come with you," Remus said "I needed a break from Arithmancy anyway."

Remus made to stand up but Sirius shook his head "Cheers mate, but I'm going as Padfoot, you won't be able to keep up..." he said with a wink. But Remus knew better, so he didn't press the matter.

James seemed oblivious to the whole exchange, staring at the fames in the fireplace with a morose look on his face. But when the portrait hole closed after Sirius' exit, he let his features settle in a worrisome frown.

----

Sirius took out the Marauder's Map, it was his turn for safekeeping it that week and it was just as well, because he wouldn't have wanted to ask James for it. He vaguely wondered if he'd ever be able to speak to James normally again, but of course he would. Sirius had that strange ability to take everything that had gone wrong in his life, bottle them up and then hide them away from view, pretending they never happened. He'd do exactly the same thing this time.

He tapped the map lightly with his wand and whispered "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good.'"

The school's layout materialised in front of his eyes and Sirius looked for the South Tower; an empty room up there was one of his favourite spots. The area around it was empty and Filch was thankfully in the other side of the school, so he wouldn't run into trouble.

An unfamiliar sight caught his eye; the name 'Lucius Malfoy' was hovering outside Dumbledore's office. _What's that git still doing here? _

Dumbledore's office was only a floor down to his left, but quite far away from the South Tower. So Sirius had no idea why he had tapped the map closed, and set off to that direction.

----

He met up with Malfoy at the top of the staircase; it had begun to shift right when Sirius climbed the last step, so he jumped a little, landing right in front of Malfoy.

Lucius gave him an amused smirk. "If it isn't the bane of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black."

"And thank Merlin for that. I was getting tired of the whole torturing puppies at the dinner parties." Sirius deapanned.

Lucius smiled "Touché... Help me find a way out of his castle, won't you, I long for the comfort of my home."

"You haven't forgotten how to move around Hogwarts already, have you?" Sirius said rolling his eyes and at Lucius' lack of response, he gestured him;

"Well come on then, I don't have all night."

They fell in step, the silence not exactly awkward, but not exactly comforting either.

"Shouldn't you be in your dormitory, isn't it long past curfew?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow that said 'Please, I'm not a first-year' and Lucius chuckled,

"Always the rebel, Black."

"And you Malfoy, always the conniving bastard. Cheers for the brooms by the way, good way to buy yourself into the school's administration."

If Lucius was insulted by this, he never showed it. Instead, he shook his head and patted Sirius lightly on the shoulder.

"How little you know of politics Black..."

"It's that what you call the eugenics strategy of that madman?"

"Dear me, where did that come from? You shouldn't be talking about things you don't know anything about, should you Black. Why, you're still a child..."

"I'll be of age next year!" Sirius protested hotly.

"_One_" Lucius continued, raising his voice a little, "that should know not to get mouthy when --"

"You know what?" Sirius cut in. "You can find your way out by yourself, we wouldn't want you to be trusting a wayward _child_ now, would we?"

"Black spare me the witticisms..."

"_Piss of _Lucius, and you can stick your high and mighty attitude up your arse!"

Sirius tuned on his heel and begun walking down the opposite direction.

"Black... Black!" Lucius called after him.

When Sirius refused to acknowledge him and turn around, Lucius took after Sirius in a swirl of billowing robes.

"Black! You will answer when you're spoken to, you ill-mannered brat!"

He caught up with Sirius and spun him around by the shoulder, his hand lingering there.

"What the fuck do you want Malfoy? Go back to the _comfort of your home_, I've had a bloody awful day to have to deal with you on top of everything..."

"Black." Lucius said again, and Sirius saw a flicker of uncertainty cross Lucius features, but it was difficult to tell in the waning light of the corridors.

"You have a somewhat skewed perception of me. No matter. I find you amusing, interesting even, I always have, but now I understand we could never hold a serious conversation, what with your boyish attitude..."

Sirius felt blushing despite himself. He knew what he was doing; taking out all of his frustration at the events of the evening on Lucius. Not that cared for the arrogant bastard, but Sirius didn't like the idea of misplacing his emotions like that.

Then another thought stroke him.

"Amusing, _or..._?"

Lucius dropped his hand immediately.

"Or?" he asked.

"I don't know, you tell me."

"Black, I do not have time for your idiotic--"

"Do you have time for something else then? Sirius asked quickly, moving closer. A feral look went over Lucius' eyes and this time Sirius was sure he saw it, before it morphed back into the mask of controlled superiority that Lucius usually wore.

"It depends on what you're offering."

"It depends on what your asking for."

Sirius felt the familiar jolt of adrenaline shoot though his body. The prospect of having one off seemed definitely inviting, no matter that it was Malfoy, or maybe especially _because_ it was Malfoy. Lucius was the furthest possible alternative from James, and Sirius wanted to hurt James back, even indirectly, even if James would never know.

But Lucius pretended to miss the innuendo.

"Why, the quickest way out naturally."

"Right." Sirius said and didn't allow himself to feel disappointment. In fact, he should be feeling relief, because upon examination Sirius realised that it would have been a very bad, not to mention _wrong_ idea. Whatever had gotten in to him?

"Follow the corridor, you'll find another staircase, then it's only a short walk to the front doors."

Lucius nodded and tipped his hat, but the electric atmosphere around them remained.

"Good night, Black."

----

Almost a week later, Lucius had come back to the school, and when Sirius found him he didn't even bring up an excuse. In fact they barely talked while Sirius led them to the empty classroom in the South Tower and Lucius had pushed him against the wall, and had done unbelievable things to Sirius' body with his long fingers, until Sirius came and came and came, almost losing his mind in the process.

Lucius had smirked afterwards and Sirius was too exhausted to worry about him not wearing glasses, or having fine, soft hair, instead of messy, thick one.

_TBC_

**A/N 2:** I suppose this is the chapter you've been waiting for... I hope the L/S bit didn't disappoint.


	10. Chapter 10

**Title:** The Hidden Life  
**Author:** mtranc3  
**Rating:** R  
**Spoilers:** All six books  
**Summary:** Sirius, Lucius, and the secret between.  
**Pairings:** Lucius Malfoy/Sirius Black, James Potter/Sirius Black, James Potter/Lily Evans, Severus Snape/Sirius Black  
**Warnings:** Slash, Unbeta'd  
**Author's notes:** One of my favourite pairings in HP fandom is Lucius/Sirius, one that is unfortunately not very popular, so at the lack of related fic I've decided to write Sirius/Lucius myself, to satiate my cravings. It's kind of experimental, because I've only written (and mostly read) Harry/Draco, and I don't really know how exactly it will proceed, but I thought I'd give this partially formed plot-bunny a chance.  
**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, no profit is being made.

**A/N 2:** This is the R-rated version of the chapter, a small scene was left out, in order to comply with the rating rules. If you'd like to read the NC-17 version, look for the link in my profile.

**Chapter 10: **Up to no good.

**_28th February 1976_**

"Do it, I'm good, fuck..."

"Like that, you mean?" 

Sirius shook from the wave of hot breath on his neck, and said hoarsely:

"Yes... don't stop."

"I don't intend to."

----

"When is the next Hogsmeade weekend?"

Sirius lingered on the door.

"I don't know, probably sometime around next month."

Lucius nodded and when Sirius didn't move he smirked.

"Is there anything else, Black?"

"Fuck you, Lucius."

"Ts ts ts such manners..."

Sirius almost smiled. It was like a game between them, and he never quite new where the loathing ended and the desire begun, but he was enjoying himself nevertheless. He gave Lucius one of his customary salutes and headed out of the room.

----

James was sitting in the common room tapping his foot on the floor in contained irritation. The flames in the fireplace had almost gone out and he and Remus were the only ones left.

James kind of wished that Remus would give up and go to bed, because he wanted to have an all out fight when Sirius returned. Not that Remus was stupid and couldn't deduct what he didn't know. But this was strictly between him and his best friend, and neither of them wanted a buffer. He didn't allow himself to feel worried for the git because that would mellow his anger and he needed the ire in order to have the confrontation that was long overdue.

The portrait hole opened slowly and James' tapping stopped immediately. He could feel, rather that see, Remus looking at him expectantly, but he didn't turn his head until Sirius plopped beside him on the couch. He even had the nerve to stretch out and give a content groan, the obnoxious bastard!

"Hiya Remy. Why still up so late?" Sirius asked, completely ignoring the fact that James was sitting right next to him, emanating waves of affront to Sirius' insolence.

Remus unfolded his arms and it was the first time James saw him looking so angry;

"Where in heaven's name have you been?! Do you have ANY idea how worried we were! We didn't know if we should call a professor or --" he flailed his arms in frustration, and Sirius sat up slightly straighter.

"Remus, please, keep it down..."

Remus continued, ignoring him.

"I counted your head myself, but you never come back with us, did you? So don't you dare lie you were in school! What were you doing in Hogsmeade so late? We were ready to go out there and find you!"

Sirius looked over at James' side, but James was kicking the rug with his foot and pretended not to notice.

Sirius' face darkened then.

"Listen Remus, I'm sorry for not telling you, but I'm not a bloody baby that you have to constantly fret over me and I can take care of myself. Even better than you two can. I wanted to stay for another drink, I forgot to tell you, so what? I came back from the Honeydukes passage, no one saw me, end of story..."

Remus breathed out though his nose and shook his head in exasperation.

"Sirius if you can't understand how dangerous things have become in the streets, then no, I don't believe you are capable of taking care of yourself. And that will be 20 points for Gryffindor AND" he raised his voice as Sirius begun to protest "you should actually be glad, because you'd be in a lot more trouble if we had gone to a teacher..."

Sirius turned his head away from him and Remus knew that it'd be a couple of days until they'd be talking normally again, but he could live with that. Sirius had really crossed the line with his antics this time, and '_another drink_'? Did he really think they were that thick?

"I'm going to bed." Remus said finally and left without waiting for a response from either of them; he wouldn't be getting any, and he knew there were things that needed to be said between them that had nothing do with him. That aspect of James and Sirius' relationship always left him a bit bereft, if not somewhat jealous, but tonight Remus was glad he was not Sirius' _best _best-friend. He was a patient person, but he didn't trust himself not strangling the git for worrying them so much. James rather passive-aggressive when it came to Sirius, so he'd get away with a few punches at worst. But James didn't seem so indulgent tonight. Remus could only hope he'd find them in one piece come morning.

When the steps on the stairs had died down and Remus was well outside hearing range, James finally turned to Sirius. He regarded him for a moment before speaking, because he knew Sirius feigned carefree posture would irk him even more; Sirius legs were stretched out in front of him, and he had one arm thrown behind his head. His hair were tousled and his clothes in careful disarray.

"Where the fuck were you?"

Sirius' look was deliberately slow, as it eventually focused on a spot next to James' shoulder, but never on his face.

"Oh, you know... around the village."

"Cut the shite and tell me."

Sirius then pinned him with his gaze, and he put on his most unpleasant smile; the one, James thought in indignation, he usually reserved for Snivellus and his lot.

"What do you really want to know Jamie?"

"I want to know why you've been avoiding us all day long... you said you'd go with Peter at Zonko's, but he told us you gave him an excuse and took off, and you were supposed meet me and Lily for drinks at the Three Broomsticks, but you never showed up, so where the fuck were you all day?"

"I forgot about the drinks and I was bored to hang out with Peter, okay? And it's none of your business, mate. Not when you disappear for hours and hours with your girl and we stand waiting for you for that Snap game, or going down to dinner, so don't give me that!"

"You right twat, leave Lily out of this!"

James stood up, but Sirius remained seated and folded his arms on his chest, looking the picture of relaxation.

"Who is it?" James asked finally, when Sirius pointedly ignored the remark about Lily.

"No one, it's no one..."

"You're a terrible liar, and I know you. _I_ know you, so don't fucking --"

"You won't like the answer!" Sirius snapped. "And it's not serious, it's... shit, I don't even know what I'm doing, James..."

The desperate look on Sirius' face was enough to undo James. The silent plea and all the unsaid things hanging in that look between them. Sirius was the braver of two, putting it out like that in the open. And James hated himself then for pretending not to notice, not to understand, but nothing could even come out of it, Sirius should realize that.

"I... just... be careful, and don't scare us, you know, like that again... When Remus said he was about to tell McGonagall he wasn't pulling the mickey, okay?"

Sirius lowered his eyes and stared at the carpet for a moment, but it was as though he wasn't seeing anything at all.

"I'll be careful, don't worry about me. And I'll talk things out with Remus in the morning..."

James nodded and climbed his way up the stairs, Sirius didn't make to follow him.

"Goodnight, Sirius."

"Night, James."

**___TBC_**


	11. Chapter 11

**Title:** The Hidden Life  
**Author:** mtranc3  
**Rating:** R  
**Spoilers:** All six books  
**Summary:** Sirius, Lucius, and the secret between.  
**Pairings:** Lucius Malfoy/Sirius Black, James Potter/Sirius Black, James Potter/Lily Evans, Severus Snape/Sirius Black  
**Warnings:** Slash, Unbeta'd  
**Author's notes:** One of my favourite pairings in HP fandom is Lucius/Sirius, one that is unfortunately not very popular, so at the lack of related fic I've decided to write Sirius/Lucius myself, to satiate my cravings. It's kind of experimental, because I've only written (and mostly read) Harry/Draco, and I don't really know how exactly it will proceed, but I thought I'd give this partially formed plot-bunny a chance.  
**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, no profit is being made. The title of this chapter comes from a film called "Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence".

**A/N:** I know this chapter took longer than usual, but I come bearing gifts: I've made a Sirius/James drawing, you can find the link to it in my profile. Also, this chapter assumes many things, one of them being that Andromeda Black /Tonks lives near Diagon Alley, for which there is no evidence in the books. I try to keep this fic as canon as possible (ahem, well, excluding the L/S part...), so you'll excuse the use of this small artistic license on my part.  
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**Chapter 11: **Merry Christmas Sirius Black  
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_**9th December 1976**_

"Sirius!"

A pair of dragon-hide gloves flapped Sirius on the face. He rubbed his nose, glaring at James. "And you call yourself a Head-Boy, you first-year?"

James fell into step with him and gestured in the air with his hands "And here I am, looking out for you, you ungrateful mutt... well, let me remind you that we're replanting the nightshades in Herbology today."

Sirius made a painful grimace, and put the gloves in his pocket. "Cheers, mate."

"What would you ever do without me...?"

"Remus would probably fetched them for me" he said with a wink.

"Yes, but Remus would bite you head off for neglecting them, and then proceed to lecture you about the harmful effects effects of Belladonna... Don't we _all _serve at your feet, Sirius Black?"

Sirius let out a bark-like laughter at that, and pushed James playfully.

"Oh, hey.." James said, sobering up, and pulled Sirius over to a corner.

"I didn't have a chance to tell you sooner, but I asked Lily to stay over for Christmas... you don't mind, do you?" he asked nervously.

Sirius kicked his feet on the wall behind him and straightened up. "Don't be daft, why would I mind? Besides, it's not my house, it is?" At James protesting snort, he amended, "I _meant_ that of course you can invite anyone you want... I forgot to tell you that I'm not coming for the holidays anyway, so it's just as well."

He made to move, but James pushed him back "What do you mean you're not coming? Mum will have a fit!"

Sirius smiled; James' mother had a soft spot for his antics.

"I got an owl from Andromeda --"

"When?" James asked suspiciously.

"Two days ago, you were off to that meeting... anyway, she's asked me to stay with them for the holidays, it's been almost 5 years since I last saw her."

"But..." James run a hand through his hair, trying to come up with an objection, but Sirius' smile was steely and impenetrable "are you sure?"

Sirius nodded, a few locks falling on his forehead, shielding his eyes. "I want to see what the black sheep of the family has been up to. And I have a new little cousin I haven't met yet..."

James grinned at him "I thought _you_ were the black sheep."

"Ah, we have many black sheep in the family, it goes with the name."

They left the corner and slowly made their way outside, towards Greenhouse #4, prolonging the time before the inevitable lesson. James stopped Sirius a second time, and asked with a casual smile, that Sirius knew him well-enough to see it was covering for nervousness "You'll take the mirror with you?"

"Miss me, won't you?" he joked, and then more seriously: "Don't be a git, of course I'll take it."

And his smile was so easy, that the first day of the Christmas break, when they had all said their goodbyes and Sirius had left with the other students for Hogsmeade to get the Express, and James had gone upstairs to pack (the family carriage would come for him and Lily later in the day), he wondered when did he start believing Sirius' easy smiles, because the mirror laid atop Sirius' trunk, forgotten, or even worse, left there on purpose.

----

It had been long since Sirius had last visited Muggle London, that it took him a while to figure out how to go from King's Cross station to Charring Cross Road and the Leaky Cauldron, but he managed. He didn't really make sense of the ridiculous notes that Muggles called money (a wizarding prejudice he couldn't shake off), but he made perfect sense of their clothing, which suited him very well indeed (even if he was the only one to attest to it).

He was dressed in a long moleskin overcoat, leather flared-trousers, a knitted tunic a bit open on the front, duffel bag in one hand, cigarette in the other, and if he was turning heads it wasn't because he had somehow mixed up the clothing items, like many Wizards so often did.

He made his way through the dingy pub, and to the brick wall that led to Diagon Alley, and even though the reason he found himself there was because James had invited Lily (and Sirius didn't want to spent Christmas with bile at the back of his throat - he loved James and tolerated Lily well-enough, and neither of them deserved it), he couldn't help feeling as if he was on an exciting adventure.

It had been a good thing that Andromeda replied that they'd be happy to have him over, when he had hastily sent her a letter that day after Herbology, because otherwise he'd be spending Christmas in the streets.

Andromeda, Ted and Sirius' new cousin, a toddler named Nymphadora, lived in a small, semi-detached house, in a street right off Diagon Alley. It had a front yard, and a garden at the back, and even though Andromeda called it 'shabby' (it _was_ considered her family home), Sirius found it rather comfortable. He'd never met Ted before, but he could now understand why Andromeda turned her back on her family and fortune for him; Ted was a handsome man, but more importantly, he had a very kind and generous nature, and a sharp sense of humour. As an Irishman, he also had a great aptness for drink, as Sirius discovered the first night of his visit, when he was introduced to Ogden's, a particularly strong brand of Firewhisky, which Sirius took to very enthusiastically. Andromeda had to cast two _Sobrietus_ spells, just so that he could stand on his legs the following morning.

Andromeda herself, was looking marvelous. She had never been as beautiful and graceful as Narcissa, or possess the same imperial good looks as Bellatrix did, but maternity suited her very well, and Sirius never recalled seeing her so glowing before. Nymphadora had been a another pleasant surprise; Sirius noted the pink fuzz on her head right away, and Andromeda had explained that when they took her for examination, the first time her hair changed colour, the specialists in St. Mungo's said that she was most likely a Metamorphmagus, meaning she would be able to change her appearance at will. Sirius, who loved anything that had to do with transfiguration and metamorphosis, was immensely intrigued.

Therefore, he was in high spirits, when his headache had subsided later in the day, and he'd taken off for a small stroll in Diagon Alley to look at the Quidditch store. His good mood was abruptly shuttered though, when he was violently hauled to a narrow street between two buildings, and slammed to the wall next to a rubbish bin.

The hit left him disoriented for a moment; he wanted to reach for his wand but his hand wouldn't obey him.

"You don't need that Black" he heard the hooded figure whisper, and recognized the smirk, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief; at least it wasn't a stray wizard from Knockturn Alley, though Lucius Malfoy meant all sorts of trouble as well.

"Following me, Lucius?" he said snidely, because he knew it would annoy him; it was all part of their little game afterall.

"Don't flatter yourself, cousin, I simply happened to receive word of your visit to the other deviant in your family..."

"And you also _happened_ to be in Diagon Alley at this very moment, didn't you?"

Lucius didn't answer but moved closer, pinning Sirius to the wall, and kicked his legs apart. He made to grab Sirius' arms, but Sirius was too quick for him; he caught Lucius' wrists in one hand and brought his hood down with the other.

"You know very well I cannot be seen in a public place like that" Lucius said slowly, but his eyes betrayed his anger. Sirius let his hands free and Lucius pulled the hood over his head once again. His hair was tied back by a ribbon in its customary fashion, but a few strands had escaped, spilling out of the hood.

"What do you want Lucius? I don't socialize with your lot any more." Sirius asked in what he hoped was a bored manner.

Lucius gave him a leering look "I recall you _socializing_ just fine the last time we met..."

"Ah, that..." Sirius smiled, and almost had half a mind shack up with Lucius somewhere, and wipe that smirk off his face with his _mouth_, but their game had to end; it was something both of them knew from the beginning.

"As pleasant as our... _meeting_s have been, I'm afraid they will have to end here" he said slowly and then dropped the indifferent act and continued in an earnest voice: "Soon I'll be out of school, and hopefully into Auror training, and people like you will be the ones I'll be after..."

"Are you accusing me of something, Black?" Lucius asked dangerously. Sirius didn't need to see his eyes to know they'd be almost glassy in their coldness.

"You know very well what I'm talking about, and don't think for a second that I agree with what you stand for, what you believe in, just because I..." he trailed off and Lucius brought their heads close together, so close, that Sirius could probably count his pale eyelashes.

"Just because you let me put my cock up your arse, is that what you meant to say?"

His eyes flashed with hatred, but Lucius went on: "You don't know the first thing about me, and you know _nothing_ about the world out here; you're just a child who's rebelling against his own self, that's what you are. Tell me Black, do you honestly believe in anything?"

Sirius looked at him straight in the eyes, and for a moment Lucius seemed so foreign, so distant, as if he was the centre of all the things Sirius hated from his past, his environment, his family, that a wave of nausea overtook him. He pushed Lucius wearily off, and staggered towards the main road.

"I do believe in something" he muttered without turning back "the truth within me..."

He wasn't sure if Lucius had hear him, or even if he wanted to Lucius to hear, so he kept on walking. He would never know that Lucius had heard every word, and that he had stayed in that alleyway long after Sirius had left.

**TBC  
**

**END OF PART I**

**  
**

**A/N 2: **This was the obligatory 'break-up' part, but never fear! There'll be a 'make-up' in the future. Also, this is end of part one, meaning the end of the Hogwarts years. Anyway, let me know your thoughts!


	12. Chapter 12

**Title:** The Hidden Life  
**Author:** mtranc3  
**Rating:** R  
**Spoilers:** All seven books  
**Summary:** Sirius, Lucius, and the secret between.  
**Pairings:** Lucius Malfoy/Sirius Black, James Potter/Sirius Black, James Potter/Lily Evans, Severus Snape/Sirius Black  
**Warnings:** Slash, Unbeta'd  
**Author's notes:** One of my favourite pairings in HP fandom is Lucius/Sirius, one that is unfortunately not very popular, so at the lack of related fic I've decided to write Sirius/Lucius myself, to satiate my cravings. It's kind of experimental, because I've only written (and mostly read) Harry/Draco, and I don't really know how exactly it will proceed, but I thought I'd give this partially formed plot-bunny a chance.  
**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, no profit is being made.

**PART II**

**Prologue**

_14th November 1977_

_Alabaster's Apothecary_ was a small unremarkable supplier of potions and potion ingredients, only a block shy of Knockturn Alley. It was run by the owner -Augustus Alabaster- and his assistant, Severus Snape, who was fresh from graduating from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Severus' days at the apothecary passed slowly and uneventfully. Alabaster left him to his own devices in between serving customers, so that Severus was free to roam the stuffy narrow corridors and expand his knowledge about potions and their uses.

His peace of mind was to be disturbed one morning, when one Lucius Malfoy visited the store, carrying plans for Severus' future, plans that Severus, secretly, wished for himself as well.

----

Lucius Malfoy took of his gloves and eyed the baskets in front of him disdainfully, waiting for Snape's response.

"These are all poisons..."

Lucius took back the parchment and folded it neatly. "Nevermind that. Can you make them? You'll be amply rewarded of course..."

Severus eyed him wearily. He had heard of the Malfoys' allegiance to Lord Voldemort, and even though he was highly ambitious himself, he didn't know yet where he stood.

"Why me?"

"There isn't currently one in our circles with the ability to make these, and the ones on the outside that are able, do not believe in our cause, unfortunately. But you, Severus..."

Severus rubbed his chin, weighing his options; "There a few ingredients here that are difficult to come by..."

"Don't worry about that, everything you need will be provided. Well?" Lucius asked taping his fingers on the parchment.

Severus didn't want to answer immediately, though he knew where his heart stood: a well equipped laboratory would be like a playground, and he knew he didn't want to stay an errand boy in a run down apothecary forever.

He wiped his hand on his apron and presented it to Malfoy. Malfoy sniffed and shook it lightly. It was set: from now on Severus Snape would be working for the Dark Lord, but the allure of power was too strong for all the implications to fully settle in.

_ TBC_

Notes: I haven't written anything for so long that I'm a bit rusty, so please let me know what you think. This story is unfortunately not very popular, due to the nature of the pairing I'm afraid, but I'd like to take this opportunity and thank everybody who left me kind comments, and waited for the second part. Thank you all! Finally, for those who prefer to read on Livejournal, I'm adding the updates there as well -the link is on my profile page.


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